Maternal Mental Health Week - Toni's story
Posted 29th April 2018
Toni has used support from Fitmums & Friends to help manage the debilitating effects of post natal depression and here she tells her story...
After having my eldest daughter, Amelia in 2012 I suffered from low mood. I didn't seek help for it on the basis that I refused to admit that I was unhappy after having a baby that I so badly wanted. I'd been diagnosed with ovarian cancer when I was 18 and told that I'd never be able to have children so I was in complete denial about that fact that I was unhappy after having a baby, let alone that it might be post-natal depression. It wasn't until I compared my experience with my youngest daughter, Ava that I realised just how depressed I'd been the first time around.
With Amelia, I made excuses not to go out and see people, I busied myself with everything and everything as a way of trying to cheer myself up, and I threw everything I possibly had at being the best mother to my daughter that I could be, but now I look back, I can see that it was at the expense of everything else. I'd moved to Hull shortly before I'd got pregnant and didn't really have any friends in the area and my family lived down south. I felt really lonely and isolated, and I struggled to find friends who were friends because of me and not just because of us having children the same age.
When I found out I was pregnant a second time around, I was determined that I would make friends for me as well as my baby. When Ava was 3 months old I started to look for ways of getting into shape but where I could also take my baby along with me, and thats when I found Buggy Burn with Fitmums. I attended and knew straight away that it was for me. With babies still in their prams, I was easy to hold a conversation talking about everything and anything. It started with me complaining every week that I couldn't even keep up with the power walk, but with encouragement from Ray I kept going. I met lots of new people and I have a few friends I still speak to now.
When I realised that Buggy Burn wasn't on during the holidays, it gave me the nudge I needed to step up to the evening sessions with Fitmums. I was so nervous about going in and how I'd get on seeing as I hadn't ran since before I'd had Ava, but Ellie was great and introduced me to Laura who had also attended Buggy Sessions and was attending the evening sessions for the first time too. I found the run really hard, but I felt amazing afterwards! It's such a sense of achievement at the end of the run, and Laura and I pushed each other week-on-week to improve. It was so lovely to be out in an evening and to not just be talking about how tired we were because of teething babies, or how many poo's the baby had done that day. I was talking about running, about aches and pains, personal weight and fitness goals, races I wanted to enter, but it was also lovely to know that we could chat about the kids too and had that common ground.
Having that time to exercise with and without my babies was brilliant. I made friends, I met people with the same interests, and above all, my mood improved. I felt exhausted yet elated after each run, which helped with my sleep, something I'd struggled with after my first pregnancy; I was able to run distances I never thought I'd be able to achieve and lost weight which boosted my confidence; I've recently become a Mental Health Champion which gives me a sense of purpose and a feeling that I'd doing something positive and giving back. I can't stress how much Fitmums & Friends and exercise in general has improved my mental well-being after having Ava. It meant that I was able to still be a great mum to my girls, but that I was also able to look after myself, and as a mum, we need that.
If you think being more active might help you experience improved mental health and well-being then please come along to any Fitmums & Friends session. Check out your nearest group here If it feels too daunting to attend alone then why not use our helping hand scheme called In the Pink. We know the hardest step can be walking through the door so let us help you get there.
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