About me:

I’m Emily and I have recently been involved in volunteering for the The Forest Project. I am a physics student at Newcastle University so I have been doing my volunteering on the weekends I come home. I first heard about The Forest Project through my mum, who works in the NHS, and who had a couple of meetings with Sam, the founder of Fitmums & Friends, which runs The Forest Project.

My main reason for wanting to volunteer was because of my own experiences. In 2014, my dad was involved in a mountain biking accident which left him completely paralysed from the shoulders down and on a ventilator unable to breathe unassisted. I was 11 at the time so it was a massive change in lifestyle as we were previously a very active family; we were lucky enough to go on lots of family holidays, including skiing and mountain walking!

Over the nine months that dad was in hospital, he demonstrated what a strong and brave man he was, learning to breathe on his own and eventually being weaned off the ventilator. He was able to come home in April 2015. Dad, who was an architect, was able to be cared for at home, and during this time we also moved into a new house, which he designed to be completely accessible for himself! In early 2020, there was a sudden decline in his health. He had been struggling with chronic pain for years and his breathing began to suffer too. My dad passed away on 29 January 2020 after a short stay in hospital.

He was the strongest man I have ever known and I’m very proud to be his daughter. This is why The Forest Project pulled on my heartstrings. I knew I could relate to these children and possibly give them someone to talk to who may understand a bit of what they have been through. I really hoped that I could make a difference and help, especially because I know how great it would have been if I had had access to amazing resources like The Forest Project when I needed the support.

Week 1

With it being the first week, there were obviously some nerves (including my own! It didn’t help when I got lost on the way!) but the Forest Leaders and the Bereavement Support Facilitators (BSFs) were quick to begin with some icebreaker games. My favourite was ‘Vanish’ where one person had to count with their eyes closed for five to eight seconds whilst everyone else ran to hide within the area. The person counting would then have to spot the others - but they weren’t allowed to move. A BSF and myself were quick to find a favourite tree to hide behind! However, my favourite hiding spot was inevitably stolen and, running out of time, I had to dive onto the floor – straight into some nettles!

The first week was very informal, allowing the children (and the rest of us) to get to know each other and the forest. Given the time of year, the wild garlic was in season so the forest floor was covered and the smell was delicious! The children and I were far too happy to discover that we could eat the leaves raw – some very interesting faces were pulled when we tried it!

There was a lot of free time this week so that the children could become comfortable talking openly. The rules in the forest meant that they were free to wander around in pairs or groups without the presence of an adult so when some girls wandered off, it meant I could speak one-to-one with a couple of girls. One girl in particular loved the hammock so I was recruited as the “hammock pusher”. Fortunately, this meant that I was never to miss out on a gym session during the weeks working in the forest as pushing a hammock loaded with girls for over an hour each week really strengthened my biceps! Using the hammock also gave the opportunity to have informal conversations and get to know the girls better.

Later on in the session, we all gathered around the campfire to chat about our loved ones. I really enjoyed the way that the BSFs approached this, meaning the girls were able to talk as much or as little as they liked about their ‘special person’. I think this made them more comfortable and actually reveal more than they would have done in a more formal setting, as there was no pressure and they could process their own emotions and everyone else’s at their own pace. Everyone in the group had the opportunity to talk so it really surprised everyone when I mentioned my own story about my dad. I don’t think they expected one of the volunteers to have lived experience.

The final hour of the week was taken up by peeling fallen branches into marshmallow toasting sticks – a fine use for a potato peeler! I managed to find a double-pronged one which I think I was more excited about than the girls. We finished the session by toasting marshmallows around the campfire and chatting about plans for later in the day, and looking forward to the following week.

Week 2

We all came to week two feeling much less nervous. We also had a surprise guest – Tipsy the lamb! Tipsy believed that she was a small dog and was available for plenty of cuddles throughout the morning. It’s safe to say my friends were very confused when I sent them selfies with a lamb that day!

Our first task was to find two things in the forest: one that makes us happy, and one that makes us say ‘wow’. Of course, Tipsy and Ted (the Forest School dog) were chosen, as well as a small collection of leaves and flowers from around the forest. I was really touched when one girl was adamant about choosing me as her ‘happy’ item!

This week, we used the campfire to make snacks by wrapping pitta breads stuffed with tomato purée, cheese and ham in tin foil and placing them on the edge of the fire. Unfortunately, some were left a little too long and became really rather crispy. The one that I had was lovely!

Whilst the pizza pockets were cooking, I was taught how to braid silks using a tree and some pine cones. It took two of us to do it as we had to swing the pine cones towards each other in order to make the braid. I managed to do this with one of the girls who had been particularly quiet. She was the oldest of the group but by far the most shy. After the session, I found out that she has really severe anxiety and struggled to go out. I was impressed and proud of her for coming to the forest as it must have been really difficult for her. It was really great to be able to chat to her about her experiences, especially in school as we had been through similar things. People in school made mean comments about her passed loved one as well as making fun of her. I was comforted to be able to tell her that it should get better as she gets older which is what happened for me. I felt she made real progress in being able to open up.

I was able to make a couple of wool friendship bracelets with one of the BSFs before being called back to my hammock pushing duties! Despite the achy arms, it was worth it to be able to talk to the children and have some fun with them.

We gathered around the campfire again to talk about our loved ones. This week focused on memories, some girls brought photos of their families/friends to show the group. It allowed them to share their favourite memories of their loved ones as well as show us something so meaningful to them. I was able to pass around the engagement ring that my dad proposed to my mum with. She had it resized after he died and surprised me with it for my 18th birthday. It has become one of the most important things that I own and is a really lovely way to always keep a ‘piece’ of dad with me.

To prepare for week 3, we were asked to write a worry or concern we had that we wanted to share with the group in the following session. It could be about absolutely anything, for example, I wrote mine about worrying that my dad won’t be at my graduation or wedding one day. I headed straight back home to see if pet lambs are allowed in student accommodation!

Week 3

Every Forest Project has one longer week, running from 10am to 3pm. It was really lovely when some girls still decided to come at 9am so we got even longer together! Over the past couple of weeks, one girl had been exploring a newfound love for pyrotechnics so was even allowed to light the forest campfire using flint, steel and her new skills from the forest. Once the fire was lit, we were able to go through the worry jar from the previous week. It was a really good opportunity to discuss any concerns that the girls had and offer reassurance or advice. In a strange way, it was comforting to discover that we could all relate to each other’s worries, and it reinforced that we were not alone.

This week, we were given a writing activity which involved everyone getting a paper feather to write about a memory of their loved one, a paper hand to write the name of someone who has helped us and a paper teardrop to write something that may have made us sad. It was a powerful way to think of both the positive and more sad aspects of what the group had been through.

The highlight of my time in the forest was when I found out that one girl had written my name on the hand; it was amazing to discover that I could actually be helping and making a difference to someone.

Away from the main forest there is a second wood which we were able to walk to because we had more time together. The walk gave lots of time to get to know the girls and some of the BSFs. We ended up finding a plastic tunnel usually used for the paint balling. When we saw the amount of spiders and snails on the sides, we forced a BSF to crawl through first! I thought I had escaped a slightly slimy scramble through, when I heard “Emily, I won’t go through unless you do…” so, naturally, I prepared myself for my mission protecting my face and head using my hood and drawstrings!

The hammock was brought out again alongside a slack line (two thick ropes tied between two trees which we had to balance on) which was great fun – I got to have a go! They provided one-to-one time which was really important this week when someone got upset. We got a chance to calm down, chat about it and then have a bit of a distraction by having a laugh in the hammock.

Making the most of all of the extra time, we also did some wax melting/candle making and some wood carving – I tried to make a small wooden carrot to act as a label in the garden, but it wasn’t a success! Whilst in the forest we always had delicious treats cooked over the campfire – sausage sandwiches and pancakes for week 3.

Week 4

There were mixed emotions in the final week for me: I was really proud to see how the girls had developed and to have been a part of such an amazing project. I was also really sad that I wouldn’t see them every week, the girls were so funny and were always a joy to be around.

We had a relaxed time during our fourth and final week, we made some friendship bracelets – I keep mine on my car keys. The hammock was there, of course, and I continued with my hammock-pushing duties.

The girls decided that they would like chocolate cake as the treat for the final week - unfortunately, it ended up tasting rather smoky.

As a parting gift, one of the Forest Leaders gave each of us a tiny hand-carved animal – my giraffe / horse / alpaca lives in my car.